So, if you have IG or any social media account am sure you have seen the many outrageous beautiful displays of people getting engaged and amazing weddings. Sometimes when I watch such “performances” lol I wonder if they are real or if they are all for show and maybe these people don’t last even a year. Okay, okay, I know I sound so outrageous but that’s not what I want you to get out of this. Just stay with me…
Marriage can be a beautiful thing. And, I think am getting to realize that actually as I am getting older. I A lot of people though love the idea of being married especially the “wedding” part but don’t realize how much it really takes to make a marriage, beautiful.
But before taking that huge step, there are some very important things that as individuals we forget to ask ourselves and inquire of our partners and I think that’s why most people, most marriages don’t last. So, whether you are single or in a relationship and your goal is to one day marry the person of your dreams, here are a few things you might wanna consider asking yourself as well as be open about with your partner because the goal is to be happy while enjoying the journey together!
Trust me, am speaking from experience. I was married for 7 years and got divorced, then casually dated and moved in with a man for three years. I shouldn’t actually say casually because we had a “full life” and a beautiful child together. Did we talk about marriage? Yes! Was it a priority for me? NO! but it was a priority for my ex. I just didn’t see the need for marriage because I had already done it before and it wasn’t what I thought should have been. But my then boyfriend had never been married before so he itched for it.
Fast forward, my boyfriend and I went our separate ways and it wasn’t a good situation but oh well, sometimes life is what is. We live and learn. I read a quote that said, “Now that you have gone through it, what have you learned from it” and let me tell you, I felt that! But it’s the truth what I do with my next falling is what’s important. But here are the 5 thing’s I would recommend anybody who is in a relationship and thinking about marriage do before taking that HUGE step!!
First: Money Money Money!! Discuss your finances. What each persons financial situation is like at the moment. What they’re plans are financially. If they have debt, what is their plan to take care of it? What they think about bills and who should take care of what? If they’re coming in with a child, are they up to date with the child support or what is the arrangement like with the other person?
Second: Faith. Discuss about your beliefs. This topic seems to not be an issue for a lot of couples while they are dating and or living together before marriage. But, I will assure you this, it becomes and issue once you get married and if one person has strong beliefs in a particular spiritual area. Plus it gets worse when you decide to grow your family and have children.
Third: Family. Discuss your plans and views about family. Do you want to have children. If so, how many? Discuss about how you wanna raise your children. This is where having an understanding about your beliefs is important. Also, discuss about extended family. How do you associate with your extended family (sisters, brothers, mother and father). How much do you want them involved in your “now” family.
Fourth: Personal Goals and Together Goals. You don’t want to stop growing personally just because you are now married to this other person. Instead, you want to discuss what your dreams are and how you want to pursue them. You want to make sure your partner understand how important your goals and dreams are to you so he/she can support you. You also wanna know what you want to focus on and achieve together as your “together goals.” You want to be very realistic on how you will go about doing that.
Fifth: Respect and Emotional support. Las but not list, you want your partner to understand the real you. The you that when your partner sees is not going to FOLD because they are shocked. Hopefully, you have been with your partner for quite sometime that he/she give you the respect you deserve and has been there for you already EMOTIONALLY. So, what this means is, there won’t be any surprises in the future.
I personally believe these five things are major for any relationship to work. RESPECT and TRUST is build because these five things have been discussed about and each person is on the same page. Remember you are marrying nothing less than a QUEEN and nothing less than a KING period.
Tell me your thoughts. What do you think? Did I miss anything?